Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just for the record

so today is big pictures day,
well here we go again on a Thursday  evening and another week ahead is
we're starting the Grey project and the 2D final
for me they're more linked now
it's like seeing them as one
we talked about rubbish today
and by the way the pics are taken 2 days ago
so yeah rubbish
the secrets of the rubbish
can you feel it?
can you smell it?
can you taste it? ew
can you hear it?
these are the questions of collections
we had a meeting today, an intense one
about our visit to the museum, and
Salvador Dali

:"the individual chains that kept us locked:
shall break in time of tempest shock
relieve the days of stairs and slides
to walk in vain with silent cries"

Sometimes we tend to rely on what we thought was ours
unfounded assumptions
the hopeless hopes
driven by what we feel than what is right
lulled by the emotion than to see reason
it's a matter of perception again
how we perceive things
cause nothing really matters
if we make them matter
and nothing that matters are nothing if we don't matter
about it

"you're the feeling, and the reason
what am i gonna do, when the only
thing that matters most to me is you?
I guess waiting is the solution, patiently
cause nothing that is rushed can be near to perfection
yes there's no such thing as perfect but
we could make it near to it"


called as "TinTin" by gabrielle today aha
can't wait for the movie, i'm a fan of the film!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mad as a Lamp

I feel weary after school today though it's a holiday
We're driven by Ry back near home
I just fell and slept 
and of course all these weird dreams
and failures circumnavigated the scene
maybe I need these stuffs for our 2D final project
I'm concentrating on surrealism
my kind of thing
"sur" a french word means above
"realism" being real,
together they mean "more than reality" or "above reality"
thus surrealism
Sometimes, I feel stupid about myself whenever I feel sad or silent
I don't know the weird thing is there's no reason
maybe it's because I'm being vulnerable again to sudden spikes of
what I feel than what I think
about the irony,
yet I am still trying to focus straight to the present and future
like cutting off the vines that pulls
those thoughts, those ridiculous flashbacks
even sudden thoughts are in danger of enlarging
to a nebula that jams and freezes the world 
makes you dazed
makes you stuck
cause admitting the fact that you till can't resist that feeling 
on her
i remembered my post before called
i thought at first i have defied it but no, it's translucent
a fake glass
Bits and pieces of it hidden
there are so many things that I might think on
but still you're gaze, defies them all
and that smile wreathes around my mind
like a beautiful rose obscured by clouds

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

refurbishing lines, bars and tones

The Red Berries of that cake, now I'm craving :S
more more cakes puhlease!

the dinner with my ates last night at Boon Keng, so happy and fun night, ate erika's birthday
Arise and Fly

Brownie, or Red or I dont know with ate gianne ehhe and Janosiel 

si catherine, ahah, so far from her face

early morning drawing, @ school

psst! no fires please it'll explode, :P 

perspective lesson, though this vanishing point
is Vanished.

Here's a poem for hopes and dreams
and life
that sometimes
you need to be weird, random
or anything
even though there isn't any connections
at all
so here
we go.


I stood still in the midst of a grey universe
Ever burning at dusk with my heat
Open up your eyes and invigorate this light within
Cause in you i find all my worries are gone,
all my fears are vanished
walking in the roads covered by this sheet
Indeed I am unnoticeable in my cloak
the flash of my insufficient will
look at me fade away
and be taken on
on and on

sometimes life provides certain passage ways that are too narrow
sometimes too wide
sometimes a blockade
but yet here we stand in the middle of our choices
holding the switches of decisions
There is always choice in all we do
Do what you love
Do what makes you happy
we can all stay smiling and cute people in this earth

refurbishing lines and bars and tones
                                                                                 finally here comes Janosiel,
                                                      my first journal, thanks ate erika again!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Cake with Chicken

Happy Birthday Ate Erika!
thank you for being a good ate to me!

Well yeah that's for tonight, had dinner with my sisters
at last
another episode of writing
of thinking 
and expressing
or just anything
I have found myself out of the box
out of the ordinary
superimposed difference
and here I go
"I rather fail than give up"
did a quick doodle of cat today, whoa
it quite didn't look like her but yeah
urgh need to improve
short day tomorrow and long week ahead
God Bless everyone

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Roses and Thorns, Lightning power boom.

Ink randomness
the output of uncertainty,
the chalice of misery
living meekly
burning clearly

 the knight and knightmare

through the room the cup and conscience

 i am not the way you think i'm not
 admire my hands, branches of vitality
up we go to, to the moor let's go

Your voice never fails to ignite the slumbering 
fire in my heart
I tried to hide it
I tried to stop showing it
cause I know, it is impossible
nothing will ever change
If ever I say it again
so i look forward again trying to fan the flames
trying to ease the roaring feeling
more of passion over time
but still
I have kept myself silent
adamant to the fact
that the only thing that stumbles me 

Will there be a chance? 
It's an open ended corridor
living each day
in pure ignorance
a scripted ignorance
the more i disregard
the more it gets stronger
i just cant hide it,
you're simply the most wonderful
I have ever met.

shall i go to sch tomorrow?
haix too bored and tired
the  reality that i still got 2 more years
im a nonsense

Friday, October 21, 2011

The eye of a tire


Friday of pans and vanishing,

Actions starts from the mind
the complex mind sees beyond seeing
Through the midst of analytic eyes
You are the hand of your instinct
The wheel of your pride
Throw away the crowns that rust your head
the ones that you think that keep you down, 
Yet light can always be found 
when you seek
Your strong, your capable
your one of a kind
just sometimes,
don't be afraid to believe in yourself
or always will do
swim across the stars
search beneath the seas
there shall you find
the thing you most treasure

drawing for you,  research, and if
its good, i'll stay up late.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Line and the mind

I'm not like you, and you're not like me
I'm different and so are you,
I drink coffee, you eat cakes
I'm a sharpener, you're the play
I am the goggles, you're a secret
I'm a paper, you're a bird
I'm the boots, you're the pencil
I'm the glance, and you are the brush
I'm a back seat, you're the driver
I'm the echo, you're the lightning
I'm the drip, you are the ripple
It's better to really disregard the things that holds you down
the things that runs away from you
nothing have I done wrong
nor has any
but why sometimes do i find myself on the wrong side of things
yet still I cling that this will pay off in the end
that one day, there shall be a full blast
of happiness

did my bison project tonight.

Monday, October 17, 2011


Wishing someone would be the fire in this empty furnance
the ember of the cold coals
the flashpoint
It was never easy to understand someone like me
someone delved within the deepness of open eyes
that we cannot get what we wanted always
nor can we assume the reality
or take things for granted
The harp played mellifluously in the silence of the night
I sat and pondered of the confusion that any man
would bear in different circumstances
in a terrarium
shaken but still standing
I guess it's quite tedious and ambiguous
but it's like lifting up an invisible weight
that's why maybe i'm in the back seat, prefers to be on the back
it's better
no more rashness kev, no more hastiness
always let your mind work not always what you feel
abandon hunches for reason

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Will and Won't

I have kept myself in deep quietness
a docile swan upon the still waters
I'm longing to prance beyond those gates
To hold the bars and see the beauty within
My inmost paradigm ever clutch this consistency
One day I might know the reasons of the half miseries
That I have no chance to be with a princess
That it's hard to reach the stars,
with the weight of thoughts behind my back
Laden with doubts unknowingly said
Making my eyes fixed on you
Too much light for me to see
Too much blurriness for me decipher
the meaning behind the ink
that once latched itself on this heart
No, I can't stumble by these twigs like before
nor fall on the trap of rashness
But still I cling
Holding on to what will happen
for tomorrow brings
another galaxy of possibilities

Saturday, October 15, 2011


I feel that I misconceived this thought
yet the meaning implies on both ends, but still remains unseen
to her
here it goes
" I can't sing, neither do I have music videos nor send postcards whenever i'm away
nor be as famous that any man could be, but actually I can
terribly sing, and even at the slightest, I can draw decently :P at least
who's who?
the oneness?

yeah, got home from practice late today, too sad that Finn lost a string
so will be replacing a new set later.
meanwhile my mind is currently processing on which bothers me
the urge to say it out to - but half scared that it
might crash in some places
. and so
i've decided. to just keep quiet
only my mind knows
and here's for tonight
a painting i made last night
the horror within a sitting woman

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

me in a bottle

this is me in a broken kaleidoscope
where endless fragments of me, scattered on colours
every shard of crystal portrays a time
where I gaze upon your eyes
but deliberately ending up unheard, awkwardly waiting by this sit
this is me in a narrow road
reaching for the sun, but laden with thoughts
that pulls me back to where i was
and far away from where you are
this is me by the windows of my mind
where endless perspective swirls in a mellifluous rhythm
but it never made a real music
this is me hangin' on from a fragile arm,
in a few seconds will be shrugged off at your call
distant and chanceless but confused in my wall
this is me saying enough,
that I should halt my musings that endangers a feeling
that turns the tears to vapours
and now I will remain away
to that stand where I used to be

there has never been a moment where things are ending up as they should be
at the proper time
so i guess i'll leave it all behind cause i'm going too far
not realizing the steps I take that spoils me even more
i'll try
to be
the better man

2D homework, LAMP and sleep, I'll catch you later..


Saturday, October 1, 2011


Here's a song I've written and arranged for last Youth Day
celebration of our church
and I really miss this event so much
we're gonna play it tomorrow for children's day, will upload the video asap
good morning for now
and Happy Birthday Mum!



What matters most is that it's you.

i rarely haven't seen it, nor feel it
cause every movement is impossible
every thought
an inch from you
is like dancing fires that makes a heart live forever
and so I stood still, with a pen and paper
trying to think
of nothing else

Cups, Tea and Good Riddance

Today has always been the same as yesterday,
it was not right it was not good
I'm still boggled with my thoughts
makes me wonder
makes me ponder
makes me think
i know i am eccentric
yet still I am dwindled nevertheless
went to studio practice today for tomorrow's
children's day celebration at the church
had me and my little brother on guitars
and can't wait for tomorrow,
well last night i got home at 1 am, and took the bus home
hoping that i'll be better but somehow --naaa
i found myself always playing "someone like you" by the Adele
try listening to it, its really worth it
i have written something that goes like

"Sometimes I am feeling down and sad
Sometimes I am nothing
and now
I am in the middle of both ends"

Anyway I love playing ukulele i named her Quinn after i got her for my birthday last July,
brought it at class and just play it and enjoy the
Music feels good, it kind of take you out of a world where
nobody knows
where you just dance and sing with the beat
and feel the essence behind every word, note and melody
like a fire burning in your heart
so yeah, aint feelin good
hadn't started homework
im left behind
better off nothing
yea, see you tomorrow guys
hope things will turn upside down again
this is something that really is untitled.

My stupid mouth - John Mayer #nowplaying :P

on the way home last night 1 am
playing along with my camera with the lights

let the light crush your eyes, let it open them to see
what must be seen than be fooled on
what babbles in the air.