Sunday, December 25, 2011

A day that begins a new series of chained purposeful events in one's life history as for all.

Rains, that's what vague nowadays especially at this season, why can't we have snow
in here, can someone send some? :p
Anyway, Christmas day was great
Watched Sherlock H. A Game of Shadows for the second time
and it never fails to amaze me of logical linkages of the unconscious.
So I guess it's back to work again, a few more weeks and we're back on track to school.
Sitting down again, waking up early again, cramming up again and being stressed out again.
Solid months of fruitful solitude eh? I always liked vacations and break surely everyone does
after long periods of tiredness.
I wonder what lies ahead at this new year?
The tributaries of months from a vision as of a stream, as of veins that
crosses everywhere like forks of lightning.
Each story has their reason, their meaning and thought.
I remember when i was on my early days being a kid, whenever we heard a story there is always
a valuable moral lesson that we conclude with.
There are too much words, too much inexplicable characters a person hides deep inside him or her.
We might not see literally in eye to eye for even small traces of emotion can be falsified in forms of actions.
It's like seeing through an opaque mirror where behind lies the dungeons or gargantuan libraries of different thoughts, emotions and feelings.
An act of courageous impetus can let it all out, like saying that you love someone honestly and being true.
Yet we're uncertain of reactions and impacts so there's balance.
Overall, whatever happens, it happens for a reason.
Either you wait and be strong or let go and get back again.

Monday, December 19, 2011


Ever felt being rejected once? twice or thrice?
It's a trigger that blows up your heart even from its deepest chambers, clanging gears that ring
out a rampaging bell inside of you that neither can you stop nor control in an instant.
Yeah well, I guess that's that and once it's fired, you've just got to feel it in.
But despite of all the outcomes and impacts the
question that needs to be answered is Why.

hey look a tree

Monday, December 12, 2011

Days Of Mishaps and Fails

It's been awhile of holidays and misfortunes that engulfs a dramatic scene of being hopelessly hopeful.
Sometimes our dread is to let go, being aware that one day
at a wrong action, there shall be an impact
whether or not it turns pretty appropriate to the subject
or a key bolt that came out and loosens everything up.
It's a mess really, maybe unseen in the actions but
deep inside you you get the fuzziness, never ending movements of thoughts
of anxieties that has a toss coin feeling of initiation that it might be or it might not.
I have traversed much in marshes of failures, yes I did
cause I tend to be stubborn most of the times of thinking.
Maybe If you only knew much "on what beats that leads to what you want" that is unseen
maybe you'll get the idea of what it's like.
I don't know, this post is really like an unsharpened pencil, completely pointless
but chunks of meaning underneath the sheets
Anyway, since we're talking unearthed statements here's a poem for today
and it's nearing Christmas, cheer up
School is coming
I'll get less smiles when stress takes over and that's the least thing
I ever wished for

"Whatever might be that creases me
Flame it away of irony
Believe that hope is yet to come
Stay still, hold on, cast your crown
Despair might write a letter to me
With awe I read, I lift a tree
Irascible I might be
yet none can take that loyalty"

it might be or it might not be
let's just hold on to what is set upon us,
take care of your hearts for it is where
everyone's most vulnerable
and it's where
you'll find home.

morning peeps. 

 A Part Of A Word

Friday, November 11, 2011


I want to tell you something but im afraid i have not enough strength to do so,
im scared what if yea..
its like burning in me ever since,

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The man who stepped down.

The Curtains of Of  Eyeecaf - 2nd oil pastel study
sometimes i realized that i'm a man who stepped down.
the one who just let go of things.
maybe i'm too scared to reveal
to scared to say it out
cause there's always a fear of elevation and descending
yeah, maybe it's like that
so it's better off to remain like before
just focus more on things that grows
I believe it will but no, nevermind
it doesn't really matter
when it don't
but it does

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

from now on i will be careful and aware of my actions to avoid miscalculation, misconception and suspicious misunderstatements, even at my posts :) 
its nothing really,  

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just for the record

so today is big pictures day,
well here we go again on a Thursday  evening and another week ahead is
we're starting the Grey project and the 2D final
for me they're more linked now
it's like seeing them as one
we talked about rubbish today
and by the way the pics are taken 2 days ago
so yeah rubbish
the secrets of the rubbish
can you feel it?
can you smell it?
can you taste it? ew
can you hear it?
these are the questions of collections
we had a meeting today, an intense one
about our visit to the museum, and
Salvador Dali

:"the individual chains that kept us locked:
shall break in time of tempest shock
relieve the days of stairs and slides
to walk in vain with silent cries"

Sometimes we tend to rely on what we thought was ours
unfounded assumptions
the hopeless hopes
driven by what we feel than what is right
lulled by the emotion than to see reason
it's a matter of perception again
how we perceive things
cause nothing really matters
if we make them matter
and nothing that matters are nothing if we don't matter
about it

"you're the feeling, and the reason
what am i gonna do, when the only
thing that matters most to me is you?
I guess waiting is the solution, patiently
cause nothing that is rushed can be near to perfection
yes there's no such thing as perfect but
we could make it near to it"


called as "TinTin" by gabrielle today aha
can't wait for the movie, i'm a fan of the film!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mad as a Lamp

I feel weary after school today though it's a holiday
We're driven by Ry back near home
I just fell and slept 
and of course all these weird dreams
and failures circumnavigated the scene
maybe I need these stuffs for our 2D final project
I'm concentrating on surrealism
my kind of thing
"sur" a french word means above
"realism" being real,
together they mean "more than reality" or "above reality"
thus surrealism
Sometimes, I feel stupid about myself whenever I feel sad or silent
I don't know the weird thing is there's no reason
maybe it's because I'm being vulnerable again to sudden spikes of
what I feel than what I think
about the irony,
yet I am still trying to focus straight to the present and future
like cutting off the vines that pulls
those thoughts, those ridiculous flashbacks
even sudden thoughts are in danger of enlarging
to a nebula that jams and freezes the world 
makes you dazed
makes you stuck
cause admitting the fact that you till can't resist that feeling 
on her
i remembered my post before called
i thought at first i have defied it but no, it's translucent
a fake glass
Bits and pieces of it hidden
there are so many things that I might think on
but still you're gaze, defies them all
and that smile wreathes around my mind
like a beautiful rose obscured by clouds

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

refurbishing lines, bars and tones

The Red Berries of that cake, now I'm craving :S
more more cakes puhlease!

the dinner with my ates last night at Boon Keng, so happy and fun night, ate erika's birthday
Arise and Fly

Brownie, or Red or I dont know with ate gianne ehhe and Janosiel 

si catherine, ahah, so far from her face

early morning drawing, @ school

psst! no fires please it'll explode, :P 

perspective lesson, though this vanishing point
is Vanished.

Here's a poem for hopes and dreams
and life
that sometimes
you need to be weird, random
or anything
even though there isn't any connections
at all
so here
we go.


I stood still in the midst of a grey universe
Ever burning at dusk with my heat
Open up your eyes and invigorate this light within
Cause in you i find all my worries are gone,
all my fears are vanished
walking in the roads covered by this sheet
Indeed I am unnoticeable in my cloak
the flash of my insufficient will
look at me fade away
and be taken on
on and on

sometimes life provides certain passage ways that are too narrow
sometimes too wide
sometimes a blockade
but yet here we stand in the middle of our choices
holding the switches of decisions
There is always choice in all we do
Do what you love
Do what makes you happy
we can all stay smiling and cute people in this earth

refurbishing lines and bars and tones
                                                                                 finally here comes Janosiel,
                                                      my first journal, thanks ate erika again!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Cake with Chicken

Happy Birthday Ate Erika!
thank you for being a good ate to me!

Well yeah that's for tonight, had dinner with my sisters
at last
another episode of writing
of thinking 
and expressing
or just anything
I have found myself out of the box
out of the ordinary
superimposed difference
and here I go
"I rather fail than give up"
did a quick doodle of cat today, whoa
it quite didn't look like her but yeah
urgh need to improve
short day tomorrow and long week ahead
God Bless everyone

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Roses and Thorns, Lightning power boom.

Ink randomness
the output of uncertainty,
the chalice of misery
living meekly
burning clearly

 the knight and knightmare

through the room the cup and conscience

 i am not the way you think i'm not
 admire my hands, branches of vitality
up we go to, to the moor let's go

Your voice never fails to ignite the slumbering 
fire in my heart
I tried to hide it
I tried to stop showing it
cause I know, it is impossible
nothing will ever change
If ever I say it again
so i look forward again trying to fan the flames
trying to ease the roaring feeling
more of passion over time
but still
I have kept myself silent
adamant to the fact
that the only thing that stumbles me 

Will there be a chance? 
It's an open ended corridor
living each day
in pure ignorance
a scripted ignorance
the more i disregard
the more it gets stronger
i just cant hide it,
you're simply the most wonderful
I have ever met.

shall i go to sch tomorrow?
haix too bored and tired
the  reality that i still got 2 more years
im a nonsense

Friday, October 21, 2011

The eye of a tire


Friday of pans and vanishing,

Actions starts from the mind
the complex mind sees beyond seeing
Through the midst of analytic eyes
You are the hand of your instinct
The wheel of your pride
Throw away the crowns that rust your head
the ones that you think that keep you down, 
Yet light can always be found 
when you seek
Your strong, your capable
your one of a kind
just sometimes,
don't be afraid to believe in yourself
or always will do
swim across the stars
search beneath the seas
there shall you find
the thing you most treasure

drawing for you,  research, and if
its good, i'll stay up late.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Line and the mind

I'm not like you, and you're not like me
I'm different and so are you,
I drink coffee, you eat cakes
I'm a sharpener, you're the play
I am the goggles, you're a secret
I'm a paper, you're a bird
I'm the boots, you're the pencil
I'm the glance, and you are the brush
I'm a back seat, you're the driver
I'm the echo, you're the lightning
I'm the drip, you are the ripple
It's better to really disregard the things that holds you down
the things that runs away from you
nothing have I done wrong
nor has any
but why sometimes do i find myself on the wrong side of things
yet still I cling that this will pay off in the end
that one day, there shall be a full blast
of happiness

did my bison project tonight.

Monday, October 17, 2011


Wishing someone would be the fire in this empty furnance
the ember of the cold coals
the flashpoint
It was never easy to understand someone like me
someone delved within the deepness of open eyes
that we cannot get what we wanted always
nor can we assume the reality
or take things for granted
The harp played mellifluously in the silence of the night
I sat and pondered of the confusion that any man
would bear in different circumstances
in a terrarium
shaken but still standing
I guess it's quite tedious and ambiguous
but it's like lifting up an invisible weight
that's why maybe i'm in the back seat, prefers to be on the back
it's better
no more rashness kev, no more hastiness
always let your mind work not always what you feel
abandon hunches for reason

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Will and Won't

I have kept myself in deep quietness
a docile swan upon the still waters
I'm longing to prance beyond those gates
To hold the bars and see the beauty within
My inmost paradigm ever clutch this consistency
One day I might know the reasons of the half miseries
That I have no chance to be with a princess
That it's hard to reach the stars,
with the weight of thoughts behind my back
Laden with doubts unknowingly said
Making my eyes fixed on you
Too much light for me to see
Too much blurriness for me decipher
the meaning behind the ink
that once latched itself on this heart
No, I can't stumble by these twigs like before
nor fall on the trap of rashness
But still I cling
Holding on to what will happen
for tomorrow brings
another galaxy of possibilities

Saturday, October 15, 2011


I feel that I misconceived this thought
yet the meaning implies on both ends, but still remains unseen
to her
here it goes
" I can't sing, neither do I have music videos nor send postcards whenever i'm away
nor be as famous that any man could be, but actually I can
terribly sing, and even at the slightest, I can draw decently :P at least
who's who?
the oneness?

yeah, got home from practice late today, too sad that Finn lost a string
so will be replacing a new set later.
meanwhile my mind is currently processing on which bothers me
the urge to say it out to - but half scared that it
might crash in some places
. and so
i've decided. to just keep quiet
only my mind knows
and here's for tonight
a painting i made last night
the horror within a sitting woman